Here is my list of favorite quotes from the season premiere of Glee. I hope that you will enjoy them as much as I did. I'm going to attempt an "Epic Quotes" list for every episode, so check back next week for more!
"I try to do something for everybody... 25 percent show tunes, 25 percent hip hop, 25 percent classic rock.." - Will Schuester
"100 percent gay!" - Jacob
"My eyes are up here, Jew-fro." - Santana
"People thought I went on vacation, but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers." - Brittany
"Because we're both Asian? That's racist." - Tina
"When exactly did you ink your sponsorship with Land's End?" -Jacob
"When are you slated to make your triumphant return to the Shire?" - Jacob
"I think you can manage a sixth National title without two confetti cannons." - Principal Figgins
"You think your kids can imagine life without their daddy?" - Sue
"B-E-I-S-T-E. It's French." - Coach Beiste
"First of all, a female football coach is like a male nurse. Sin against nature." - Sue
"Do not get up in the panther's business, lady. You're all coffee and no omelet." - Coach Beiste
"I would've jumped in with a kick ass harmony, but the dude was naked." - Finn
"SHUT UP!" - Sue
"They fell in love over the summer at Asian camp." - Artie
"You ignored me for weeks this summer." - Tina
"I was playing a marathon round of Halo, woman!" - Artie
"Dude, your mouth is huge. How many tennis balls can you fit in there?" - Puck
"I don't know, I've never had any balls in my mouth.. have you?" - Sam
"Are you crying?" - Finn
"Yeah, I saw your stats from last season, and it really hurt my feelings." - Coach Beiste
"Now take your juicy, vine-ripened chest fruit, and get the hell out of my office." - Sue
"Stop the violence." - Brittany
"I made it up. Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. Actually, I really want to touch her boobs." - Brittany
"Are you turning on me? In public??" - Sue
The whole episode was completely filled with hilarity. I tried to get all the best quotes, but leave a comment if you think I missed anything particularly amazing!
The other quote that didn't make sense from Coach Beiste to Sue (when she squealed like a pig at the end) was WAYYYY funnier that the coffee/omlet one, but I can't seem to find it ANYWHERE on the net!
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