Open Letter to Ryan Murphy on "Home"

Dear Ryan Murphy --

First let me say that I know you are a big TV/film wizard.  I know that you have better things to do than listen to silly fans. But, I'm gonna say it anyway, 'cause thats how I roll.

I watched "Home" three times.  The first time, I bawled my eyes out.  The second time, I merely enjoyed it.  And the third time, I was so bored, I surfed the internet for gardening tips and Weight Watchers recipes.  I realize that a shift in tone is often needed to keep a show alive.  And I appreciated this sudden dive into Depressing City.  I liked how you focused on Kurt and Mercedes' inner struggles.  And while I wasn't a huge fan of the musical selections, I appreciated the way they embraced the storyline.

And, I was actually really excited that Rachel didn't play a huge role in this episode.  She has become annoying as of late, and I was glad I only had to hear one ridiculous line from her.

But I say this with love, Ryan, I really do -- for the love of everything that is holy, would you PLEASE stop letting your music supervisor RUIN a good thing?
Yes, I am a musician.  And yes, I actually pay more attention to the music than the words, because really, sometimes the writing is so repetitve in nature, I want to poke my eyes out with a spoon.

But, there are several ways that whomever was in charge of the musical selections for "Home" basically ruined this episode for me, my also-musician husband, and my who-usually-watches-Glee-with-rapt-attention-but-didn't-this-episode baby.

1) Next time Kristin Chenoweth appears on Glee (and I know she will), PLEASE do not let her take the "white girl" note, as my friend calls it.

Now, I love Kristin Chenoweth as much as the next guy, and I realize that she  probably has some stipulation in her contract that she MUST sing a high C in every episode she stars in, BUT, there is a time and a place for a warbly high note.

"Maybe This Time"?  Maybe next time. While I appreciated the showiness of the note, I thought it totally killed the character of the song.

"Home"? NEVER.  You have this beautiful augmented/diminished chord, Mercedes is shedding tears, there is a meaningful look with Quinn, and then the resolution into the major goodness ends with a RIDICULOUS high note that ruined the whole thing!!!  Had she blended with the rest of the singers, I would have been crying all the way through the local news tag, the preview for next week, etc.  As it stood, the minute she belted that crazy-ass note, my tears dried up and I nearly bled out my ears.  YOU RUINED IT!

2) If you are going to let Kurt sing a beautiful tenor melody from Burt Bacharach, cut it short.  Do not let this campy-lounge song take over 3 separate scenes!  It was moody enough the first time, and while I enjoyed the exercise of Chris Colfer's magnificent range, I did not appreciate the recap by Kristin/Matt.  SNORE!

I literally fell asleep through most of that montage, and still, on the third watching, I cannot tell you what happened.

3) Lastly, and I am saying this out of the goodness of my heart, if you are going to let Mercedes riff (and you know how I like a good riff), please do it on a song that is better in her range.  "Everything" was a great choice lyric-wise, but the first half, when she was singing it straight, was awful.  No vibrato in her voice, she was a tad flat, and it really had no power, until she was able to "Aretha" on it.  If Amber is going to do a ballad, she needs to learn how to put subtle vibrato on it to jazz it up, before she releases the fury.

This is just vocal teacher 101, Ryan.  Why didn't your music person work on this?

Anyway, Ryan.  Thanks for listening. I hope the next episode is even better!

Love ya like a sista,
Me