Madonna to the Teenth Power

I had high hopes for the latest episode from the brains of Ryan Murphy, entitled "The Power of Madonna."  After being disappointed by "Hello," I was looking forward to this mammoth episode.  Ten Madonna songs in one hour?  And they said it couldn't be done!

But, it still wasn't satisfying.  It was a one-off episode--not really furthering the story lines to which I have been waiting FOUR MONTHS to find out the resolutions.  Are Puck and Quinn together?  How is Terri feeling about this whole divorce thing?  Where is Quinn living?  What happened to Sue in Boca?  I'm just not getting any backstory here, only...well...front-story.


The episode starts as our favorite evil genius, Sue, tells Figgins that he should play Madonna's hits over the PA system.  Why?  Well besides the fact that apparently Madonna is Sue's one and only idol, I am not really sure why all of a sudden she wants it played in the hall.  Does it help her take down the Glee Club, which seems to be her only function?  That remains to be seen at this time.  Then there is something about shipping off kids that don't emulate Madonna....or something.

Then, we have poor, misguided Rachel, who sits down to talk to the other girls about the fact that Jesse wants to have sex and she doesn't.  It turns into a girlfest, with all of the girls complaining about their respective boy problems.  The weird thing about this scene is that Mr. Schuester is sitting in the room and decides to put his spin on it.  I don't know what kind of public schools Lima, Ohio, boasts, but a male teacher talking to his female students about their sex lives...I'm pretty sure that's a felony in most states.

So then, Will goes to Emma and asks her for help giving the girls some inspiration.  But poor virgin Emma doesn't have the experience or the resources.  Enter MADONNA!

After Will spies the Cheerios practicing their Madonna routine, he decides that this might be the answer to the girls' problems.  So he assigns Madonna to the club as the weekly assignment, which prompts Rachel to lead the girls in an "impromptu" rendition of "Express Yourself."  Of course, this always angers the music teacher in my husband and myself, seeing as each time Rachel gets the gumption to just break into song, the band can break into a perfect rendition of the song.  There isn't a single high school in this great nation that has band members proficient in the show choir arrangements of every single rock, pop, and showtune chart to be able to just pick up and perform every time the lead singer gets a whim.

Anyway, cut to a funny scene in which Brittany and Santana are talking about younger boys, and Brittany suggests that Santana take the V-card from Finn, which Santana decides is a good idea and approaches the apprehensive Finn.  After Finn finds out that Rachel is still dating the enemy, he goes for it. 

Meanwhile in virgin-land, Emma finds out that the Madonna songs aren't playing in her office because Sue believes her to be weak.  Emma tells Will that she wants to seal the deal and become confident in her own body.  He doesn't disagree!

Then there is the whole "Sue is a hurt flower" routine which leads to the video rendition of "Vogue."  We find out that Sue is really hurt by Will's gorgeous hair because she herself had hair problems as a young lady.  But I had trouble deciding if she was telling the truth or just trying to get Kurt/Mercedes on her side.  After the video is made and Kurt/Mercedes wonder which Madonna look Sue picked, she comes in looking like herself and gives them some nonsense about how she is fine the way she is.  I STILL can't figure out if she's just scheming or actually telling the truth.  And what happened to the "Why don't you have a show on Bravo" line?  That was going to be my favorite line of the whole thing!

And then, lo and behold, everyone sings "Like a Virgin" while doing similar sex-related dance moves.  We are left to wonder who actually did the deed and who didn't.  It was incredibly hot and sort of gross at the same time.  Yeah I'm secretly an adult in a pre-teen's embarrased-by-sex body.  Hehe.

We then find out that Finn was the only one to lose the big V.  Although Rachel tells Finn she did it to make him jealous, and Finn, ever the gentleman, says he didn't (even though he did).  Emma apparently ran out on Will (how dare she) and they decide to wait until the divorce is final.

It looks like Jesse transferred to McKinley High School to be near Rachel, which causes all sorts of drama, especially for Kurt/Mercedes who believe that now they won't have the same chances at getting solos.So they join the Cheerios.  All the boys make up with the girls.  Jesse challenges Finn to a sing-off.  And all is back to normal. 

Next week:  Kristin Chenoweth makes her return!  And I swear, if Will makes out with her and then stops because he loves Emma, I am going to shoot someone.  It's just too overdone--they need to leave it alone for awhile.


Favorite Things
-- Brittany saying that she's dating a kid on her 7-year-old sister's soccer team
-- The fact that Nathan from So You Think You Can Dance was one of the "Vogue" back-up dancers

Favorite Lines
"Yes, you should move to Israel." -- Santana
"Oh, hey, William. I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair." - Sue
"She's like a cat in heat. She talked about him yesterday and practically sprayed the choir room." -- Santana